Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The light is filtering through

I have been feeling kind of numb lately. I guess that's why I've not been updating that much. Since Christmas I have felt stuck in a rut, uneffected by anything, emotionless. Both my yoga practice and my teachign have felt rather jaded. I read quite a few blogs of people who are just starting out on their yoga teacher training and are filled with such excitement and anticipation and I remember that feeling and I envy them. Because somewhere along the line yoga teaching becomes a job like any other and like any job, some days I'm afraid you just don't want to do it. But it doesn't have to be this way. I just have to remember where to find my inspiration.

Partly it's the fibromyalgia fog, which has been particularly bad, and partly it's the pain, which has also been particularly bad and partly I suspect it is the time of year. January and February always seem so bleak, with so little to look forward to.

But now March is here and the crocus and daffodils are in bloom and there is hope of summer.

My epiphany happened this morning during my early morning yoga practice. The sun was filtering in through the gap in the curtains lighting up a ray of dust motes (and the ubiquitous cat hair) in the air and suddenly I realised "life isn't so bad". Life is not a rollercoaster of excitement, there are things I have wanted to achieve that I have been unable to do, but I do run my own yoga business and I do make a difference to my students. I need to focus much more on the simple things, the little things. And then life is sweeter.

So today I take my inspiration from the sunshine and the fresh air. From a cup of Earl Gray and a piece of fruitcake. From the simple pleasures of the world around me.

1 comment:

cindy said...

hey rachel, i know exactly how you feel as i've been there myself more than once! recently what i've found to help alot when i get in to that state of mind is to start making a list of everything i'm grateful for. it sounds so simple, but it works. also regarding teaching, i often find inspiration taking other people's classes. hang in there!