Every night I ask my students to relax and let go; let go of all the activities and events of the day. To start to forget about what has happened, worry not about what might happen and instead focus on the present moment - trying not to think past the next breath; whether lying in savasana or holding a difficult pose.
And yet what if I ask myself these questions? On the rare occassions that I even find the time to ask myself these questions I hold the thought for a few seconds, but within a breath or two my mind is racing again - back to all the things I must do, all the things I could do better, all the things I need to achieve tonight, this week, this month.
Bit of a hypocrite really aren't I?!
So mindfulness - where to start. With self study to begin with; noticing behavioural patterns, noticing how I allocate my time; this latter I have done to the shocking realisation that all I really do is rush around from class to class from work to yoga. How yogic! I need to be honest with myself, face up to my own truths no matter how painful that is, because without seeing my own truth how can I possibly tell others how to look for theirs?
But mostly I need to let go of my fear of failure, my desperate need to achieve. It is no less than grasping, stealing, constantly wanting more. I need instead to access a state of abundance and flow by remaining in the present and enjoying the time that is available to me right now.
A tall order, but something for me to think about as my last week in my day job approaches. I need to change my attitude and experience of time and achievement and it is not until I practice this myself that I can truly teach my students to be in the present moment.