Tuesday, November 3, 2009

What Ifs

We have all done it at some time or other – asked ourselves “What If?”

What if I had behaved differently in a certain situation? What if I had worked harder at school? What if I had taken this job over that job?

There are times in life when we come to a crossroads and we have to make a decision as to which fork in the road we would like to travel down. Often this is not an easy decision and sometimes I think it would be easier if life were more like a Dungeons & Dragons book and I just rolled the dice to find out the outcome!

I have made decisions that in hindsight may have not been the right ones. I’ve never been sure I went to the right university. I have made decisions about people and relationships that have ended up hurting me. What if I hadn’t made those decisions?

But I know that if I hadn’t made these decisions I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I know that even the bad decisions have been huge steps of learning for me.

I have always had a bit of a habit of living in the past, of dwelling on my mistakes (or rather, what I perceive to be my mistakes). I have to remind myself to breathe and to be here with that breath, right here in the present moment. In the present moment the past plays no part and the “what ifs” become merely stepping stones on the journey to the right now.

Do you have “what if?” moments? How do you put them back into perspective?


Elise said...

I've given up on the what if's ? Life is just way tooo short..

rand(om) bites said...

I go through sporadic waves of feeling this way too but quickly shake myself out of it. It's a dangerous path to go down and sadly so many people go down it, the "what if" path, and dwell a little longer than they should. You may not have made the right decisions in the past (we all haven't) but you learn from them and grow. Look at where you are now and I love that you see them as stepping stones whilst remembering to breathe :-)

Rachel said...

Elise - no looking back - great stuff.

And yes, it can be a dangerous path. The important thing is to acknowledge when we're on it and get off it quick!

green ink said...

Great post Rachel. I too am dealing with the "what ifs" in my life in a completely different way now. There are some decisions I made that turned out to be the wrong ones, but I wouldn't be where I am right now - the happiest and healthiest I have ever been - if any of it had been different. It's painful to look back on some things, and deal with the consequences of them still, but I'm so much more positive about it now, which is great!

At the end of the day there really is no point torturing ourselves over the past. We can only make the best of what we have now. xx

Rachel said...

Hi Green Ink, thanks for popping by. Great to "meet" new fellow bloggers every day! I've added your blog to my reading list (which I am often days behind on!)